City Biking for Cowards

Cyclist Dance Party at Belvedere Castle 2007

2007-01-01T23:28:00.000-08:00

Time's Up New Year's Ride

2007-01-01T22:43:00.000-08:00

December Critical Mass

2006-12-31T16:56:00.000-08:00

With the city currently drafting "Get the Cyclists" legislation, this month's Critical Mass was the source of much speculation. Will mass arrests be made? Will bikes be confiscated? Will nightsticks be used? Even the Paper of Record had something to chime in about this month's ride. While they were mostly sympathetic to the cyclists, the Times really needs a fact checker. The editorial urged CM "leadership" to inform the NYPD about what route they plan to take to avoid problems. This suggestion is reasonable except for two things. Since it is not an organization, Critical Mass has no leaders, and does not plan where the rides go in advance.

Whether it was the cold weather or police intimidation that kept people away, the turnout was pretty thin, and it would be safe to say that cops on scooters outnumbered cyclists at a ratio of 3:1. One might even say that New York's Finest were having their own ride behind the people they were pursuing. I had two close calls. The police blockaded the intersection near 50th and Madison, but I was able to walk mine onto the sidewalk, where one cannot be given a ticket or arrested. Although I wasn't breaking any laws, it was a necessary precaution because false tickets are common on these rides.

The other close call was at Times Square, which we managed to squeeze through without incident. One rider complained that we never should have gone there. It's an easy target. He said, "Critical Mass riders act like it's their goddamn masterpiece -- their Mona Lisa!" I prefer to think of it as the mustache above her lip, our Marcel Duchamp, if you will.

Time's Up Christmas Light Tour

2006-12-20T14:04:00.000-08:00

This past Sunday, Time's Up organized a group ride to Dyker Heights, Brooklyn, where apparently all of the residents keep up with the Jones-s come December with the most beautiful, ostentious Christmas light displays you have ever seen. The one pictured to the right is controlled by a computer. Yes, you read that right. It was written up in the New York Times, and boasts a radio sponsorship. Other notable houses had inflatable snow globes, animatronic reindeer, an enormous Santa statue seated in the lotus position, a scene from the Nutcracker, and the full cast of characters from A Christmas Carol with a recorded reading of the play on loop! If awards were given for best display, I'm sure the sheer competition of it all would lead to bloodshed. It was a beautiful ride, and a long one. The neighborhood is located near the Verrazano Bridge, and the ride started at City Hall.

You can access a slideshow by clicking here.

Long Distance on a Girl's Bike

2006-12-14T07:12:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday, I went on another 5BBC trip from City Hall in downtown Manhattan to the Flat Rock Nature Preserve in Northern NJ, and my good friend decided to join me. Of course, I was riding my Bianchi Avenue, a rugged, all-purpose, hybrid, 21-speed city bike that I have come to love and treasure. She was riding a used, "vintage" Schwinn that had a rusted derailleur, a rear wheel past its glory days, breaks on the verge of failure, and a list of other glitches that I don't have nearly enough expertise to diagnose or explain. It was an impulse buy to replace a bike of hers that was stolen.

Needless to say, it made for a rough trip for her on the way there, so I decided to be a good friend and trade for part of the way back. It was easily 15 miles of me riding on a broken-down girl's bicycle that was too small for me, and the other participants of the ride gave me an honorary "What a Guy" Award. I wear that badge with pride. The picture on the side is not her bike, but it is an almost identical one.

Moving Up?

2006-12-05T14:47:00.000-08:00

As some people reading this blog are aware, City Biking for Cowards is now syndicated by Shift Magazine, an online publication committed to environmentally conscious accessible and entertaining. They're a wonderful media group that plans eventually to expand into print and television. Stay tuned.

In other news, I just discovered that I did not pass my first written examination toward becoming a certified bike instructor. I was two points shy of a passing grade, which is 85%. Considering that I just started riding a bicycle more or less a month and a half ago, I'm not thinking of it as a major blow to my pride.

Pancake Ride to Bayonne

2006-12-05T09:52:00.000-08:00

I went on another trip with 5BBC this weekend that last 30 miles. It started from City Hall, went across the Staten Island Ferry, down miles of beautiful coastline, past the borough's premiere theatre Snug Harbor Cultural Arts Center, across the Bayonne Bridge, to a diner in Jersey boasting "the world's greatest pancakes," through Jersey City, and Hoboken.

How was your Sunday?

It amazes me how few people my age are on the ride. Out of the 50 or so people riding, there are only a handful in their mid-20s. Has nobody let the secret out to them that it's free, fun, informative way to spend an afternoon? This week, I discovered that the Bayonne Bridge was designed by the same architect who did the Sydney's bridge. I've never been to Australia, but it was an impressive factoid nevertheless.

For what it's worth, the pancakes -- courtesy of Bayonne's Broadway Diner -- were inexpensive and as delicious as advertised. I had the French apple with the cinnamon raisin glaze, topped off with whipped cream and washed down with a bottomless cup of very decent coffee. The bicycle practically rode itself back home between the sugar and the caffiene.

New Parade Rule

2006-11-28T14:00:00.000-08:00

The city scheduled a hearing yesterday at 10am to discuss the N.Y.P.D.'s proposal to make gatherings of more than 30 bicyclists illegal without a permit. That is to say, they held it on the Monday morning following Thanksgiving weekend. Clearly, they wanted to promote civic dialogue on the issue, and chose a time that they believed could best accomodate it. Despite their best efforts to arrange a convenient time, I was unable to attend. Perhaps my job just holds strange hours.

If those new rules go into effect, I might not be able to experience rides like the one I spoke about in my prior post. As reported by Indymedia, the Green Party's Mitchel Cohen asks, "What about 30 Christmas Carollers? OK, no permit needed, right? What if they go from house to house carolling, but suddenly switch to antiwar songs? Will they need a permit then?" The New York Times provides a good round-up.

Five Borough Bicycle Club

2006-11-27T06:14:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I rode 25 miles with the Five Borough Bicycle Club, who offered a free guided tour through Roosevelt Island, Long Island City, Greenpoint, Williamsburg (north and south), Vinegar Hill, and DUMBO. It's one more reason that bicyclists actually see a different city than other New Yorkers. I found out (1) the location of the world's deepest estuary, (2) the asylum where Mae West was committed for her performance in the Broadway play Sex, (3) the perimeter of Brooklyn's largest Satmar Hasidic community, (4) the site of the only soft drink advertisement in New York to also be an historical landmark, and (5) the location of the mansion that once belonged to a World War II commandant.

Before I started riding, I would not have explored so much in one day.

Thankgiving

2006-11-22T12:44:00.000-08:00

This year, I am thankful that I have been able to ride my bike throughout the streets of New York -- with no prior experience -- starting one month ago, and I have not yet gotten hit by any vehicle. I am thankful that the great majority of motorists are not homicidal. I am thankful that I am saving so much cab and subway fare in an interesting and healthy manner. I am thankful that my calves, thighs, and calves are getting more toned since I started riding in October.

I had better stop now before I compose the most over-the-top ode to bicycling since Queen released that catchy song.

Bicycle Theft

2006-11-20T13:11:00.000-08:00

One of the most interesting aspects of the Savvy Cyclist class had to do with preventing bike theft. The mind reels at the many different ways a thief can steal from you. Some put up fake street signs that they remove when you lock against them. If you lock on the horizontal poles of scaffolding, they might remove it by loosening the bolts that keep it on. If you lock against a short parking meter, they will try to lift the locked bike over it, and you also need to worry about bike parts being stolen. Lights run about $20 a piece and are easily swiped. I recently got a chain tied to my seat because they go for $30 a pop on the market. According to one craigslist posting, someone even nicked a guy's pedal sometime!

Imagine a petty crook putting all that effort and ingenuity into something productive.

Test Results

2006-11-18T21:31:00.000-08:00

I heard back from my instructor at the Savvy Cyclist class about the results of my preliminary exam for entrance into the League of American Bicyclist's LCI seminar to become a certified instructor.

"You got an 83 on your exam."

Problem is, he can't remember whether a passing grade is an 80 or an 85. If it's the latter, I am one question shy of passing, and will have to retake the class. I started riding regularly about a month ago, and I'm getting closer to certification. What would I do with it? I have no idea, but it'd make for an interesting story and adventure. I will probably find out more information soon.

Ghost Bike Saga, Vol 2

2006-11-14T18:55:00.000-08:00

I found out more today about that Ghost Bike that appeared around the corner from my apartment. It turns out that a delivery man died in a crash while bicycling about a month ago. He was running an order on a rainy night, and he had no brakes. He couldn't afford to get them fixed. The whole thing happened around the same time I started riding in the city, which makes sense because it was the first time I noticed it.

It's not a dangerous intersection. It's pretty quiet in terms of traffic. It was a combination of broken equipment, inclement weather, and a rush to place the order on time. This is his memorial.

Getting Savvy

2006-11-11T16:17:00.000-08:00

Can a man go from timid novice to savvy expert in a day? It depends on how you educate yourself. Bike New York's class fills a lot into eight hours. From 9am to noon, you get a run-down of New York City bike laws. Now, not only can I continue to assert my right to an entire lane, but can get smug and cite NY traffic code (Section 1234) when doing so. After a quick lunch, we took to the streets, learned some emergency precedures, and found out what to do if a vehicle cuts us off. (Apparently, swearing like a sailor wasn't it.) Also, I learned how to change a flat tire, and even got to take a test toward becoming a certified instructor. I just started riding less than month ago, and if I pass the written test, I qualify for another similar weekend seminar later. Once I finish that, the League of American Cyclists makes me as a legitimate teacher, at which time I would be a Biking Coward par excellance!

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Global Warming

2006-11-11T15:58:00.000-08:00

When the temperature hits the upper 60s in New York in the middle of November, one is almost thankful for the millions of motorists padding our atmosphere with a soft cushion of CO2. If everyone took up my new lifestyle, I would probably be riding in a parka -- or just very, very cold. As it happened, I rode from 17th Street and the East Side to 107th Street and the West to take Bike New York's "Savvy Cyclist" class. It's a free and valuable eight-hour class about riding in the city that's part study, part on-road experience, and part demonstration on how to replace a flat tire. More on that to follow.

Parking at the Waldorf

2006-11-07T18:27:00.000-08:00

Today, I decided to accept temp work at a conference at the Waldorf=Astoria. It was a business dress kind of affair, and I rode in style with a three piece suit and a blue tie for election day. You don't want to lock your bike around a street sign when you're dressed for a day at a New York hotel whose name is synonymous with high-life. I called the Front Desk last night to ask where to park, and lo and behold, they had a rack. What? No valet? I thought this was supposed to be a classy establishment!

Temp work at a ritzy hotel is much like temp work anywhere else. I opened and closed doors for wealthy people who all had two working arms. Although some surely had fine, chauffeured automobiles awaiting them, mine almost certainly took less time to get out of the garage.

Cycle Rage

2006-11-06T14:57:00.000-08:00

I've noticed recently that bicycling has made me a more confident, active, and altogether angry person. I just can't stand getting honked by cars for my legal right of riding in a lane. Two times this past weekend, I greeted honkers with a gesture that resembles a right turn hand signal, with only the center finger extended. Today, I just screamed out an obscenity a block away from Union Square, near the Blue Water Grill and several other elegant restaurants that have outdoor seating. Funny thing is, I have no idea whether the car that I expected to tell off even heard me. I might have been the foul-mouthed maniac making the streets unsafe for small children. Before taking to the road next time, I'm going to breathe and count to ten.

The Investigation

2006-11-06T13:17:00.000-08:00

I decided to look up the legality of posting the license plates of people who double-park illegally in the bike lane. It turns out that there does not appear to be a legal impediment to doing so.

2:55pm -- Called New York State Department of Motor Vehicles.

3:07pm -- Put through to "Monique," who refers me to the Parking Violations Bureau.

3:11pm -- Called the Parking Violations Bureau.

3:11-3:24pm -- Taught self how to play "Yellow Submarine" on guitar while on hold.

3:25pm -- Connected to "Calhoon," who politely informs me that the Bureau cannot do anything with pictures of cars parked in the bike lane. Gives me phone number to report offending vehicles.

There you go! The "Street Justice" column can best be used as a hall of shame, but chances are if I took the time to snap the photo, I've also called the authorities. Tremble, quake with fear, and share the #$*!-ing road.

Street Justice

2006-11-04T17:35:00.000-08:00

What part of the sign on the left do these old ladies on the right not understand? They get off with a warning this time. Listen up, all drivers who want to double park in the bike line. I plan to ride with my small digital camera in my pocket and photograph the license plates of all cars who just don't get it. What's more, if it's up on the site, it's going to be sent to the ~~New York State Department of Motor Vehicles~~ Parking Violations Bureau -- as soon as I check with my attorney regarding the legality. Don't be surprised if you find a parking summons in your mailboxes.

A Bad Omen?

2006-11-03T12:01:00.000-08:00

A Ghost Bike has appeared around the corner from where I live, which means that someone is memorializing a rider who got killed right near my house. It's as if someone knew that I was trying to conquer my fear, and presented a daily reminder of the dangers of my new hobby. I don't want to sound glib or narcissistic about somebody paying respect to the dead. It's off-putting, though. I can't turn the corner of an almost daily route without looking at it.

Demand Bourgeois Rights!

2006-10-30T20:28:00.000-08:00

Bicycle activism is a thankless job. Try explaining to people why Broadway should be a greenway, or even what a greenway is. Tell them about how studies show that high-traffic neighborhoods have worse quality of life ratings than those with less busy streets. Express frustration over uninformed and inconsiderate drivers that don't respect the bike lane, and you will be greated by bemusement, confusion, or contempt. Even my brother made a sarcastic (and funny) comment about cyclists posing as New York's real oppressed group, and dismissed the movement as a call for "bourgeois rights."

Below are notes on a Bourgeois Manifesto.

* WE RESPECTFULLY DEMAND the right of healthy and politically engaged individuals to choose efficient, environmentally friendly alternatives to automobile travel.

* WE RESPECTFULLY DEMAND the ability to remind our co-workers constantly about inferiority of their method of commuting.

* WE RESPECTFULLY DEMAND ineffectual political action to chase away our crushing sense of ennui.

* WE RESPECTFULLY DEMAND the patronage of neighborhood coffee shops over corporate chains that exploit their workers.

* WE RESPECTFULLY DEMAND that the communities that we are gentrifying not become too gentrified.

* WE RESPECTFULLY DEMAND that the rent-stabilized apartments that we found through family and friends remain reasonably priced.

* WE RESPECTFULLY DEMAND that our articlate, post-collegiate voices be heard.

With any luck, this could catch on and become just like that Euston petition.

About Last Night: Costumes

2006-10-28T14:20:00.000-07:00

I came to the event in a Dracula costume, complete with powdered white face, special occasion tuxedo, white gloves, and a cape to top it off. Unfortunately, no matter how I tried to tie the cape out of the way, it kept getting stuck on the wheel. So I had to dump it, and my ensemble was simply "Overdressed for the Occasion." Strangely enough, though, the face powder held tight, especially considering that I was traveling through some pretty heavy rain. Other costumed participants included Hedwig, a pirate, a Ghostbuster, a pixie, and a jumpsuit-sporting jailbird. (I wonder if the cops ever got to him?)

I set my digital camera to "Night Portrait," which I didn't realize would make pictures appear blurry. Still, it captured the feeling of the event, and sometimes created very interesting motion shots. You can access a slideshow by clicking here.

A Fine Use of NYPD Resources

2006-10-28T07:22:00.005-07:00

Sleep well, New Yorkers. Our Police Department is making sure the city minimizes the threats we face from this woman -- the one with the orange feather in her pink helmet and a cute little dog in the front basket of her bicycle. She's dressed this way for the Critical Mass Halloween ride, and they handed her a ticket before it even began. Don't you feel safe knowing that a team of uniformed officers on their scooters are monitoring kindly women and their pups?

Yes, it was that kind of night. It took only five blocks before the first bust. One group turned the wrong way down a one way street, and I overheard one officer call for back-up to encircle the riders. One girl hyperbolically yelled out, "Blue-hatted fascists!" And then all hell broke loose. Half of the bicyclists got wise to what was happening and scattered. Apparently, you can't get arrested while walking your bike on the sidewalk. So many people spread out that way. Others tried to find alternate routes, but the damage was already done. No matter how closely they abided to traffic laws, the police felt they had reason to suspect that every man, woman, and child on two wheels was a violator of traffic laws, a Molotov cocktail throwing radical, or a potential one.

Critical Mass

2006-10-26T10:35:00.000-07:00

It looks like I got the last post backwards. I will be attending the Time's Up! Halloween event, but it actually is an afterparty for Critical Mass. Most people know about the mass arrests that the police made during the RNC, and how the NYPD always tries to disrupt the rides by handing out tickets for imagined or exaggerated offences. I've never gotten so much as a parking ticket before. So I'm researching and going in prepared and cautious. Expect pictures and maybe videos of costumed riders after Friday's event.

(The jpg on this post is from the 2003 ride, taken from the Time's Up website.)

Commute and Halloween

2006-10-24T14:43:00.000-07:00

For the past two days, I rode my bicycle to work. The fact that the office is about five blocks away from my house should not detract from my victory. Hey, I can't help how short the distance is. On the plus side, I will be switching jobs in the near future. So it will give me the opportunity to prove my chops. In my defense, I have been riding at every given chance.

In the meanwhile, I am planning to attend Time's Up!'s Infamous Halloween Dance Party, but I don't have a costume, yet. This would be a good opportunity to test whether anyone's reading my blog. Do you have any costume suggestions? I am a slim, 6'1" male with brown hair and eyes. I've also been growing a beard lately. Don't suggest anything that requires a mask. I'm in no mood to block my line of vision while riding.

After all, I have a reputation to uphold.

Historical Precedent

2006-10-23T14:33:00.000-07:00

Through my Mark Twain research (see below), I came across an essay that he wrote called "Taming the Bicycle." He makes self-depracating remarks about his "clumsiness" and provides blow-by-blow coverage of the dangers of horse-drawn carriages on his suburban, Connecticut road. What gives? I think that Clemens retroactively stole my idea. Granted, he never submitted it for publication, but then again, he didn't have a blog.

Midtown

2006-10-23T11:21:00.000-07:00

One cannot be said to have conquered one's fear of city-driving without passing through midtown, but that's not why I rode to 42nd Street and the East Side this past weekend. I needed to visit the New York Public Library's Humanity Branch to research a new playwriting project. I took an alternate route along the East River, and I started to cross over around the upper 30s. I'm glad it was a weekend afternoon, and therefore sparser traffic than usual. But it was surprisingly less difficult than I imagined.

I always let on how much of a novice I am every time I ask someone where it would be legal to lock my bike. For future reference, anyone who might be interested, the bus pole in front of the library is fair game.

Sharing the Road

2006-10-22T04:19:00.000-07:00

After spending all my time worrying about large vehicles, I never assessed the danger coming from pedestrians with short attention spans -- like the ones who stand in the middle of a bike lane with their ears all full of iPod, waiting for the street light to change. Yesterday, I must have shouted "HEY" three times. Now, I know what it feels like to live in a rural part of the country where a motorist has to keep an eye out for deer jumping out onto the highway.

One more thing, cars that attempt to turn into the bike lane in order to weave around traffic should get two tickets -- one for reckless endangerment and another for stupidity. How wide do they think the lane is? They just get stuck there and force me to bang on their windshield with my hand. (I didn't actually do it, but I considered it.) Hey bike lane drivers, to quote Bob Dylan, "You're an idiot babe. It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe."

(We're Gonna Rock Down to) Bianchi Avenue

2006-10-21T06:26:00.000-07:00

There were some uninteresting other steps that I made before buying my bike. I rented one for the weekend and rode primarily on paths along the river. I went with a good friend who was surprised that I avoided riding a lot in the middle of the street. I never realized that it was illegal to ride on the sidewalk, and I wasn't yet comfortable "sharing the road" with UPS vans, 18-wheelers, and ruthless cab drivers that wouldn't think twice about swirving three lanes to catch a fare. But once you see a group of 14-year-olds weaving around trucks, it shames you to stop thinking about it.

There was no turning back. I went to the bike shop next door to where I live, and they recommended a Bianchi Avenue. I took it around for a test ride, loved it, and ordered a larger one because they didn't have it in my size. I'm over 6 feet tall with long legs. It was about a week-long wait, which felt like much longer considering the elaborate fantasy I had constructed about the gates of the underground city opening up to riders. It came though, and it's a very comfortable ride. Isn't she beautiful?

I joined Transportation Alternatives. Membership is cheap ($30), and you get discounts worth at least that much at most local bike shops. In addition, I signed up for a "Savvy Cyclist" class this November. After the course, I will consider changing the name of this blog to "City Biking for Savvy Cowards." It has a ring to it.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

2006-10-20T12:56:00.000-07:00

A naturally fearful person assesses the statistical probability of injury or death before engaging in a new activity. So I consulted my favorite Internet research tool, and Googled the phrases "bicycle safety" and "statistics." Among the top ten results, I found a state published study that included the graph reproduced above. I determined that less than 20 fatalities per year was an acceptable risk in a city of over 16,000 riders, and decided to move forward on my plan.

Incidentally, another page led me to a map of where recent fatal collisions took place, and I decided never to ride near 3rd Avenue and 59th Street -- one of the few sites where multiple crashes occured. Information is power, or at the very least is useful in forming one's meek protective shell.

Introduction

2006-10-19T19:41:00.000-07:00

Based on no formal study, I determined that New Yorkers who bike for transportation tend to be fitter, healthier, happier, more satisfied, more sexually virile, and even more politically active than the average citizen. I always imagined that the moment one makes the decision to bike for utility purposes in the city, a masked spy pulls up next to the rider at the nearest interesection and invites the initiate into a secret society. Time's Up -- long assumed to be the most radical advocates for biker's rights, environmental issues, and anti-globalization -- is just a front group for a more vibrant subculture. According to my theory, this underground organization is not a club. It has no central headquarters. It is a large, sprawling network of like-minded people spread throughout the five boroughs who share a secret, liberating knowledge of how to travel with radical joie-de-vivre in a large, anonymous city bent on crushing it with commerce, street traffic, and a decaying public transportation system.

My God! Why has it taken me so long to consider joining this enlightened society? More to the point, why don't all New Yorkers trade in their Metrocards and cab fare for two-wheelers? The answer is simple. We're cowards. This blog aims to chronicle the cautious steps that I am slowly taking to discover that "other New York," and will slowly reveal how one scaredycat's journey can serve as an example to the fearful, envious onlookers numbed by their morning commutes.